Insanity is contagious.
NJ, Anchors Aweigh.
I’m finding out now that what I thought of as a four-year long growing, strengthening, grounding, friendship has turned out to be a whole lot of dependency. I’m remarkably attached to an individual that I can no longer see daily next year, I probably won’t even talk to him daily, as that is just the way he is.. He has been my crutch through the most trying parts of my life. All of myself, my interests, himself, our personalities and places in the world have transformed accordingly, simultaneously, together we grew up. It’s ridiculously challenging to think about the future, what it might hold when he goes, when we part ways. A ticking time bomb, waiting to react.. I always knew it was going to happen, but as the time edges closer,I only grow more reluctant to think about it. When it hits, it’s surely going to be earth shattering. The only remotely stable thing in my life throughout the past four years has been this person, this rock, and now I am faced with the scariest thing that is realizing I will no longer have that same thing to set my mind on, to consume my thoughts, and to help me every step of the way. I only hope I find someone to fill such shoes because I don’t remember how to do it without em.